Feminism, Hair Removal & Trichotillomania: My Body Hair and Me

Before I was a feminist, my perception of feminism was the same as nearly every other young white western woman’s perception of feminism. The fat, ugly, hairy, smelly, crazy, hippy, lesbian, feminist stereotype. Feminists are hairy. Hairy is ugly. Ugly is bad. Therefore feminism is also bad.

…fast forward to my development of a bit of critical thinking, and my feminist awakening…

Obviously it is bullshit to claim that adult women’s bodies, in all their hairy loveliness, are something that need to be corrected, and stripped and waxed back down to their pre-pubescent state in order to be beautiful. That is sexist, and it is a symptom of patriarchy. It’s another way to do women down, and control us. If we are spending all our time and money on removing our body hair, and correcting our faulty bodies, then we are too poor and too busy to rise up.

Removal of body hair is the universal truth. Even if you only remove some of your pubic hair, rather than all of it, legs and armpits must be smooth and hairless. There are literally absolutely no women with body hair represented in the media. The only hairy armpit I ever saw belonged to my mother. Porn stars are hair free, porn equals sex, so porn stars equal sexy, so in order to be sexy, I must be hair free. And what else have young girls got to aspire for except sexiness?

I started shaving my legs at age 11 or 12. I shaved off more skin than hair. From then on, my bath water was always tinged pink. I even shaved my arms now and then. I started removing my underarm hair as soon as it arrived, with shaving and foul smelling hair removal cream. At age 16, I started getting electrolysis on my underarm hair – at mother’s suggestion. I had roughly 15 sessions, at £20 a pop. I got them waxed at the same time. (The electrolysis had absolutely no effect, by the way.)

The shock, disgust and horror that hairy women are treated with makes the decision to stop removing your hair an understandably difficult one. It took me a long time to sum up the courage to stop shaving my legs and armpits. It took an even longer time to show them in public. I’m happy wearing shorts and skirts in summer now, despite my fat white hairy legs, but showing my underarms is a whole different kettle of fish. The first time I wanted to wear a vest after I stopped removing my arm pit hair, I took fright and shaved it all off again. I still tend to wear cardigans over sleeveless tops/dresses, unless I know the people I’m with really well and am totally comfortable with them – not many people fit into that category, unfortunately.

I only know two other women who don’t remove their body hair. Most of my feminist pals still remove armpit and leg hair, as well as trimming their pubic hair.

Of course removing your body hair doesn’t make you less of a feminist – it just makes me sad that the pressures of patriarchal society are so massive that even dedicated feminist women don’t feel that they are able to leave their body hair natural.

It’s important not to blame women for being sucked in to the beauty myth. We need to place the blame squarely where it belongs – patriarchy.

I get the impression that it’s only the feminists that don’t fit into society’s mould of what beauty is that have the courage to be hairy. I think that having some conventionally beautiful women that were hairy and proud would rock the boat in a really positive way. But being considered beautiful is a privilege bestowed only on the few, and I guess it must be difficult to give that privilege up, even if you are a feminist.

My own relationship with my body hair is further complicated by the fact that I have trichotillomania, and have done for nearly 6 years.

There’s a lot to say about having trich, and it’s incredibly difficult to say. I think it’s difficult for normal people to imagine the level of shame involved.

I pull out my head hair and my pubic hair, and occasionally my arm and leg hair.

Feminists that get their pubic hair waxed off is a real kick in the teeth to me. Having a big, full, hairy bush would be a dream come true to me. I have bald spots in my pubic hair. I have bold spots in my pubic hair, and you’re waxing yours off to fit in with a patriarchal society’s view of ‘hotness’, even though you claim to want to destroy patriarchy? It’s a real kick in the teeth.

I used to pull out my armpit hair too. When I first started removing my armpit hair, I used shaving and creams. Then I used tweezers. My armpits were hairless, and I pulled out each hair individually, with tweezers.

My armpits are full and hairy now. I cured myself, in the armpits at least, by removing absolutely all the hair and then forcing myself to let it grow back it. Not touching it. Not even looking at it, until it was complete. My hairy armpits are beautiful. They’re something wonderful. A symbol of hope.

Hair removal for ‘beauty’ reasons is downright dangerous for me. Removing my armpit hair for beauty enabled me to start pulling it out. When I shaved my legs, I would pull out hairs from the stubble. Now my leg hair is natural, I rarely bother with it.

Why can’t I do for the rest of me what I did with my armpits? I physically can’t remove all my pubes, and I would find it too humiliating to go and get all of my pubic hair waxed off. Not to mention it goes against my feminist principles!

My head… well, remember how they treated Britney Spears after she shaved her head? Shaving won’t be enough – I would need to wax my head, and I don’t think I would ever be able to find someone who would do that for me.

It’s complicated and difficult being a woman and dealing with all these awful body issues. It’s really complicated being a feminist woman and trying to deal with it – disagreeing with something, but knowing the scorn and disgust you’ll be treated with if you don’t participate. As a feminist woman with trichotillomania… well, every day I feel like I’m going insane! I’m against the sexist standards that make women feel they have to remove their body hair, but I compulsively remove my own because of a condition I have. Society says bodily hair is ugly. I know my bald spots are ugly.

I want to be free to be hairy! Free from trich, and free from patriarchy.